200+ This or That Questions (+ Why They Actually Work)

Quick Answer: A this or that question is a forced choice question where you give someone two options and they have to pick one — no explaining, no "it depends." It's used as an icebreaker, a dating conversation starter, a classroom warm-up, and one of the most-used formats on Instagram Story polls. Unlike would you rather questions, which present two scenarios, this or that questions compare two actual things — coffee or tea, beach or mountains — making them faster to answer and easier to use anywhere.

You know that awkward silence right before a party gets going? Or that dead air on a first date when neither of you knows what to say next? I've been there more times than I'd like to admit, and honestly, this or that questions are the single easiest fix I've found for it.

In this guide, I'm going to walk you through everything — what this or that questions actually are, why they work so well psychologically, how to use them across different settings like icebreakers, dates, classrooms, and social media, and I'll hand you a step-by-step framework for building your own list. By the end, you'll have a real toolkit, not just another random list of questions.

Let's get into it.

What Are This or That Questions?

So here's the deal. A this or that question is a forced choice question — you give someone two options, and they have to pick one. No wiggle room. No "it depends." Just pick.

Simple, right? That's kind of the whole point.

These prompts go by a bunch of different names depending on where you run into them — either or questions, a or b questions, "make me choose between two things," or the pick one of two choices game. You'll also see them lumped in with would you rather questions, rapid fire questions, and yes or no questions — they're all cousins in the same conversation starter family.

Here's a subtle distinction I think a lot of articles miss, though: this or that questions present a choice between two objects or things (coffee or tea?), while would you rather questions present a choice between two scenarios (would you rather be invisible or be able to fly?). Small difference. Matters more than you'd think when you're writing your own list.

A Quick Example

• Beach or mountains?

• Netflix or a live concert?

• Texting or calling?

See how fast that moves? That's the magic.

Why This or That Questions Actually Work

I want to slow down here for a second, because this part genuinely surprised me when I dug into it.

Forced choice questions work because they strip away the pressure to sound smart or witty. You don't have to craft a clever answer — you just have to choose. And that changes everything about how people respond.

Two clear options remove the burden of overthinking, so the brain makes a quick, instinctive call instead. That instinctive call reveals something real — how a person prioritizes comfort, risk, nostalgia, novelty, or personal values. That's not nothing. A silly little game is quietly doing some real decision-making psychology work in the background.

There's a practical payoff too. Workplace research on task breaks has found that short, low-effort breaks between work tasks can improve focus and productivity over the following hours — which is part of why a 5-minute round of this or that before a meeting isn't just filler, it's a legitimate reset.

There's also a momentum effect. One answer leads to a reaction, which leads to a follow-up question, which leads to an actual conversation. Before you know it, people have stopped waiting for their turn to talk and started actually talking.

Where People Actually Use This or That Questions

Let me break this down by setting, because the "right" question totally depends on where you're using it.

1. Parties and Social Gatherings

This is the classic use case. You've got a group of people who maybe don't know each other that well, and you need a low-stakes way to get them loose. This or that questions are basically a party game at this point — quick, funny, zero prep required.

Pro tip from experience: keep the early questions light (pizza or tacos?) before working up to anything more personal.

2. Dating and Getting to Know Someone

On a first date, this or that questions double as sneaky get to know you questions. You're not grilling someone with "tell me about your childhood trauma" energy — you're just asking "mornings or nights?" and somehow learning a ton about their personality, their preferences, and how they live.

A fun variation worth trying: guess your partner's answer before they say it out loud. It's an instant connection booster and turns a simple question into a small game.

3. Workplaces and Team Meetings

I was honestly skeptical about this one until I looked at how many HR and team-building resources recommend it. Short breaks between tasks have been shown to improve productivity over time, which gives a real evidence-based reason to open a meeting with a quick round of questions instead of jumping straight into the agenda.

So a quick round of this or that questions for work before a meeting isn't just a fun detour — it's a legitimate team building tool. Ask something like "email or Slack?" or "morning meetings or afternoon meetings?" and you'll get real engagement (and maybe some strong opinions).

4. Classrooms

Teachers love this format as a warm-up activity because it's fast, inclusive, and doesn't require kids to give long answers. Something like "math or science?" or "reading a book or watching the movie?" gets a whole room engaged in under a minute.

5. Social Media (This Is Where It Really Explodes)

Okay, this is probably the biggest use case in 2026. This or that questions are everywhere on Instagram Story polls, TikTok trends, and even YouTube Shorts. Poll and slider stickers on Instagram Stories are consistently among the highest-tap interactive elements available to creators, because answering takes a single tap — zero typing, zero friction. If you're planning when to post these, it's worth checking the best time to post on Instagram to maximize how many people actually see and tap your poll.

People love voting, comparing results, and arguing in the comments — it's basically built-in engagement bait, but the good kind. If you run a blog, a brand account, or even a personal page, this format is one of the easiest ways to boost social media engagement without producing a ton of content.

How to Write Your Own This or That Questions (Step-by-Step)

Alright, let's get practical. Here's the process I actually use when I'm building a list from scratch.

Step 1: Define Your Audience

Before you write a single question, ask yourself: who's answering these? This or that questions for kids look completely different from this or that questions for coworkers. Age, context, and relationship all matter here.

Step 2: Pick Your Tone

Decide upfront whether you want:

• Funny this or that questions (silly, low-stakes, laugh-focused)

• Deep this or that questions (values, beliefs, more reflective)

• A mix of both, building from light to heavy

Most successful lists actually blend tones deliberately, starting silly and working toward more meaningful territory as people warm up.

Step 3: Keep the Options Balanced

This one trips people up. If one option is clearly "better" than the other, you don't get a real answer — you get an obvious one. "Puppies or getting hit by a bus?" isn't a real choice. Aim for options that are genuinely comparable in appeal.

Step 4: Group by Category

Organize your questions into buckets — food this or that questions, travel this or that questions, work-related ones, relationship ones, and so on. This makes your list way more usable, and honestly, it also makes for better content structure if you're publishing it as a blog post (search engines like organized, scannable content).

Step 5: Test It Live

Try your questions on a real group before you publish or use them at an event. You'll quickly find out which ones fall flat and which ones spark actual conversation.

This or That Questions vs. Similar Formats

I think it's worth clarifying how this format stacks up against its closest relatives, because people use these terms interchangeably all the time (and it's not quite accurate).

Knowing the difference actually helps you pick the right tool for the moment instead of defaulting to the same game every time.

Sample This or That Questions to Get You Started

Since you probably want something usable right now, here's a small starter set across a few categories:

Food:

• Pizza or tacos?

• Sweet or salty?

• Coffee or tea?

Lifestyle:

• City or countryside?

• Morning person or night owl?

• Texting or calling?

Entertainment:

• Movies or TV shows?

• Books or podcasts?

• Concerts or festivals?

Work:

• Remote work or office?

• Email or instant messaging?

• Meetings or async updates?

Deep/Reflective:

• Money or time?

• Stability or adventure?

• Being right or being kind?

Feel free to mix, match, and reorder these depending on your audience and setting. For a longer list broken down by category, check out our full library of party games and conversation starters.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Here are a few things I've noticed trip people up when they're putting together their own lists:

1. Making one option obviously better. This kills the "choice" part of the game entirely.

2. Ignoring your audience's age or context. A question that's fine among close friends might not land the same way in a classroom or a work meeting.

3. Sticking to one tone the whole time. Mixing funny and thoughtful questions keeps things from getting stale.

4. Forgetting to follow up. The real magic happens in the "why did you pick that?" conversation after the answer — don't skip it.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a this or that question?

A this or that question is a forced-choice prompt that gives someone two options and asks them to pick one, with no room for "it depends." It's used as an icebreaker, dating question, classroom warm-up, and social media poll format.

What's the difference between this or that and would you rather?

This or that questions compare two real things (coffee or tea), while would you rather questions compare two hypothetical scenarios (would you rather fly or be invisible). This or that tends to be faster and more casual; would you rather tends to spark longer discussion.

Are this or that questions good for kids?

Yes. Because they require short, simple answers, this or that questions work well as classroom warm-ups and are easy to adapt for any age group by adjusting the topics.

Can this or that questions be used for team building at work?

Yes. Short breaks between tasks have been linked to improved focus and productivity, and a quick round of this or that questions is a low-effort way to open a meeting or reset a team's energy.

Why are this or that questions so popular on Instagram and TikTok?

Because they require just a single tap to answer, this or that questions are one of the highest-engagement formats for Instagram Story polls and TikTok trends — there's no typing required, so more people participate.

Wrapping It Up

At the end of the day, this or that questions are deceptively simple — two options, one choice — but they do a lot of heavy lifting. They break the ice, reveal genuine preferences, spark real conversation, and work basically anywhere: parties, dates, classrooms, offices, and definitely your Instagram Stories.

If you're building your own list, remember the framework: know your audience, pick your tone, balance your options, organize by category, and actually test it before you rely on it.

Now go ask someone "beach or mountains?" and see where the conversation takes you.